Be That Kind of Friend
12. My Command is this: love each other as I have loved you.
13. Greater love has no one than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
14. You are My friends if you do what I command.
15. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead I have called you friends, for everything that I have learned from My Father, I have made known to you.
John 15:12-15
It Takes a Friend to Make a Friend
One of the most painful journeys that any one will ever take in life is the journey down a path of loneliness. On the flip side of that, there is the journey that is shared with friends. While friendship by no means removes the hardships and struggles of living in this fast-paced world, it certainly makes the burdens a lot easier to bear. This leads us to ask a personal question. Do you have such friends to share your life? If not, why not?
On my last doctor’s visit, there was a medical assessment questionnaire that I had to complete and one of the questions asked if I was lonely. Of course, I answered “no” because I have a wife and a family. But then as I gave it a little more consideration I had to admit that the presence of people is not a guaranteed cure for loneliness. It takes a friend to fill the void created by feelings of emptiness, hopelessness, and isolation. Having people around is not the same as having people to share your life with. It takes a friend.
There is something remarkable in this passage where Jesus is officially elevating His Disciples to the position of “friends.” What does it mean to be a friend of God? Well, it starts with Jesus’ command to love each other as I have loved you. That command is not as simple as it sounds due to the fact that it is followed by the next statement which is laying down one’s life for one’s friends. For sure, we can love people our way which usually is based on reciprocal love. I give something in order to receive something in return. We may be able to love people based on a relationship. It is not unusual for parents to love their children, because that is what parents do. Relational love is just that; it is limited to human ability and preference. Love can even be based on patriotism or even popularity. It is not uncommon for people to love someone because they are famous. But that is not the kind of love Jesus describes in this passage. This is great love, the kind of love that God displays. This is the kind of love that gives up everything. Greater love has no one than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
What we are talking about is a rare kind of love. This is not the love that is produced by man’s heart. For the heart of man is deceitful and desperately wicked to the point that it cannot ever produce pure love. This love flows from the heart of God. This love is only poured out in our hearts through the imparting of the Holy Spirit’s power. Please note that Jesus did not simply suggest that we give this kind of love, He commanded it. My Command is this: love each other as I have loved you.
In this we find a great dilemma. How can you give what you do not possess; you must have something before you can give something. I believe that Jesus breathed this Love into the hearts of His Disciples. It is only when we come into the possession of the Holy Spirit’s authority that we will have the ability to give that kind of love. Otherwise it is absolutely impossible for someone to give what they do not possess. God has to first give it.
Jesus takes on a role here of being not just our Savior and Lord. Jesus takes on a role of being more than our Creator, Sustainer, Healer, Comforter, Leader, Defender, High Priest, and Champion. Jesus takes on the role of being our Beloved Friend. O, what a Friend we have in Jesus! It is in that role that He equips us to be a friend to others. You are so empowered with this “friendship ability” that not even the gates of hell can prevail against it. Yea, even though the world may kill your body, it can never kill the lasting impact of your friendship. That is what Jesus is making of you and me. He is making us into His Likeness of lasting friendship. Not as the world gives, but “pure and holy friendship” that flows from the Heart of God. Does that say something to us? Does it not say that you are highly valued in the Eyes of God? Does it not say that you are highly useful in the Army of God? It also says that no matter what happens in life, your God is also your Friend. God wants His children to be more than possessors of this friendship. God wants His children to present this friendship to a world that has no clue of what it means to care. In as much as Jesus commanded us to take the Gospel into all the world, here is Jesus commanding His followers to be a friend to others. Here are Divine Orders to be that kind of friend.
The Miracle of God’s Friendship
What a friend we have in Jesus! That is not something that we should treat lightly because the Lord of Glory has committed Himself to us. God made this commitment not on the mere basis that He created us as mortals. God has made this commitment to be our Friend because He loves us dearly and His Will is for us to love each other the same way.
God made this commitment so that we would realize that we are no more to be considered sinners in the Eyes of the Lord. We are His friends. If He did not want us to be His friends, He would have said so. Jesus said, You are My Friends. As Christians, we are called the friends of Jesus. Having such an honor means we have the privilege of now enjoying such a wonderful relationship with the Lord of Glory. It is absolutely miraculous.
While we may look at this great honor as a Divine privilege, it is God’s wonder working power that performed this miracle. Moved by compassion and motivated by His Father’s Love, Jesus bestows on unworthy, and often ungrateful followers, this miracle of His Friendship. The first thing that we can say about this miracle is the fact that God chose us. Do we realize what our Savior has given to us? How could God love us as friends when there are times that we don’t even love ourselves? Nevertheless we have the miracle of being His chosen people. John 15:16, You have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you … that you should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit shall remain: that whatever you shall ask of the Father in My Name, He may give it you. We celebrate being the chosen Friends of Almighty God.
The second reason to celebrate this miracle of Friendship is due to the fact that God communes with us as His friends. It is one thing to have those casual friends that you see every now and then. Not so with God. He is not only an “On-Time God,” He is also the “All-The-Time Friend.” He never takes His Eye off of us. That is how God communes with His friends. Jesus said in John 15:15, I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead I have called you friends, for everything that I have learned from My Father, I have made known to you. Now, if He communes with us, we have no excuse whatsoever, for not knowing God’s Will for our life. We are to go out and make friends because He communes with us and communicates the knowledge of the Father.
It is a miracle to be the Friend of God and it is evidenced by the fact that God cares for us. This is the third reason for celebration. It even sounds Heavenly. God cares for His children. This introduces us to friendship privileges. As friends of God, it should never be our desire to manipulate our Savior and King. It should never be our goal to use God for our own personal agenda. That is not how friendship works. But, if you got a Friend in Jesus, that friendship definitely comes with some tremendous benefits. In other words, “can’t nobody do you like Jesus.” I would rather look at the benefits from the upside of God caring for us rather than the downside. The downside would build the friendship with God on the basis of what I want. That, of itself is limited and also dangerous. Admittedly, you and I don’t always know what we need. The upside of the relationship means, God shows His Friendship through Mercy and Goodness. As a Shepherd Who cares for His sheep, so the Lord of Glory cares for us. Psalm 23:6 closes with these words. Surely Goodness and Mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the House of the Lord forever. God’s Goodness and Mercy will follow me, so that whatever I need in life, God will pour it out abundantly according to His Will. That is the upside of this tremendous “Friendship with God.” At this level of caring, God makes our lives fruitful so that we bring honor to Him as He pours out blessing upon us. It becomes a mutual friendship in that God gets something out of it as we receive His Loving Care. Isn’t that amazing! The end result is that we do not view God as Big Daddy who gives everything we want. The end result is that we view God as our Friend and Care Giver. We bless Him with our service and He blesses us with His Grace. We can never repay Jesus Christ for His friendship, but we can reciprocate that friendship by giving of ourselves to Him and His service.
Four Words that Change Your Life and Everyone Around You
Words are powerful. They can definitely change the trajectory of a person’s life when they are spoken at the right time. No one would take issue with the statement that the world could certainly use a few more friends. But as I have stated, we are not referring to just the average friendship. We are talking about humans becoming God’s friends. What we must explore is how do we become that friend and what do we do as that friendship?
This brings us to the discovery of four words that can change our lives and the lives of those around us. We need more Friends of God to say these simple words, “God is my Friend.” It is going to sound strange. Some people will even stare at you as if you have lost your mind. The truth is you are only saying what the Scriptures say about you. People love to talk about friendship and all its wonderful attributes but if you have a special friendship, then why not just say it? If God is your Friend – why not confess it?
When those four words are spoken with authority, they will change your life and the life of others who hear it and witness it. First, we need to get approval to say those four words. So let’s get that taken care of. Does Jesus want me to say that He is my friend? That is the first question. Jesus wants you to do more than simply say with your lips, “God is my Friend.” He wants you to demonstrate it. How is that accomplished? Jesus simply said, My Command is this: love each other as I have loved you. We see the part of loving each other and we say, “I can do that.” But there is the second part that qualifies the kind of love that we are to use. Love as I have loved you. That part is where many have difficulty because they either don’t know how or don’t really want to. In most cases, the latter is fairly typical because there are certain people that we don’t like. Let me help you with that. Before Jesus decided to “befriend” you, your status was the enemy of God. Sin made you God’s enemy and so that made it impossible for you to be God’s Friend. But through the Love and Sacrifice of the Savior’s Blood, there was a love offering made to change the status from enemy to friend. Therefore, if God loved you while you were yet a sinner, how dare you to draw a line and say that you can’t love some people. Let me reiterate. This is not a request or suggestion: you are commanded. My Command is this: love each other as I have loved you. So, with the Divine Love that is flowing in your heart, take some of that love and give to others. Literally, allow God to love through you. If you are saved, you cannot deny that you have God’s Love. And if you possess God’s Love, He expects for you to present it. It is just that simple. When you give it because you have got it – you are that kind of friend.
So, with the approval and verification that we are indeed “Friends of God,” we can make that declaration to the world with our actions. What that means is acting in obedience to the Lord’s command. You are My friends if you do what I command. How do you accept God’s command. That part is easy. If you simply recall all of the amazing things that you Friend has done for you, you should have no problem with sharing His Grace and Mercy with others. This is the one thing that you will always have in abundance. There may be times when you run out of money. There will be times when you run low on energy and get tired. There will even be times when life’s problems will send you to your knees. But there will never be a time when God is not your Friend. Once a Friend always a Friend in Jesus. The abundance of His love will supply you with the encouragement you need and the enjoyment of all you seek. Not only is Jesus your Friend, but He is also you Joy. He is your Peace. He is your Very Present Help in the time of need. As a matter of fact, with Jesus as your Friend, He is really your all in all because He is the Great I Am.
People will look at you strange for saying “God is my Friend” but you will not be lying. You will be telling the truth and demonstrating what Grace means. A person who confesses that God is their Friend is really expressing appreciation for John 3:16. For God so loved the world that He gave His Only Begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. A person who lives on the fact that God is their Friend is sharing with the world a wonderful testimony. Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed upon us that we should be called the children of God. 1 John 3:1. If ever there was something that the Christian can boast about it is to boast in the Lord. That honest boasting about your friendship with God will change your life and the people that are around you. They will discover that there is not a Friend like the lowly Jesus. No not one.
Be that kind of friend. Love like you know that God is your Friend.